When God Writes Your Story

It was the last day of Retreat and everyone was milling around in the lobby, waiting for their groups, hauling luggage to the cars and saying goodbyes. I was standing to the side with a couple of my besties, pretty much just tryna stay outta everbody's way.

Then this blonde-headed, blue-eyed firefighter is standing there in front of me, shaking hands with my friends and asking where we went to church. "Ethan Pritchard." I liked him right away; this was a good decent guy if I'd ever seen one. But nothing could come of that, right? He didn't have my number; for all I knew, he'd never seen me before.

I was driving home with Faith and Loyal Carlon the next day when my cell phone rang. "Um...do you know a guy named Ethan Pritchard?" It was Mom, with the very essence of teasing in her voice. "Oh, yeah...   why?" "He called Dad and asked if he could talk to you..."

I was speechless.

Frankly; I had had it with guys at that point. Every girl has her share of "creepers" during the teen years, and I was annoyed to death. From the guy who lived somewhere across the ocean who showed up on facebook, to the 50 year old who asked me out at work...I was tired of dealing with it all. Exhausted, really. But...there was something different about this one. I liked him. He seemed steady.

So I prayed, and prayed, and prayed and prayed...and told Dad to let him know that I was willing to talk with him.

And then the magic started - the very first time I heard him say my name. (Secretly, I had always hoped it would be special when "my man" first said my name. Always, I had listened for "specialness" when other guys were around, but nothing was ever different. This time it was; and I was giddy with excitement.)

We talked for about a month, then he decided to come up and visit. He met my family, took me out on our first date, choked down his first cup of coffee, and got stuck in a snowstorm on his way back to sunny North Carolina. (19 hours in a snowstorm, people - that's one devoted guy!) I felt as soon as he was gone, that I was missing part of me. And his blue eyes.....     :)

But I still wanted to be sure that it was God's perfect will. I cannot tell you how many times I prayed earnestly about it; but one night I got desperate. It was about 1:00 in the morning, and I knelt down beside my bed to hash it out. It was 3:00 am before my head hit the pillow, but I went to sleep with peace that God had heard me.

I know some people may think it's weird, but as I was staying there, asking God to lead me, wondering why I felt nothing at all, this song came softly, gently over my heart, and I knew all was well.

"Cause you prayed all night

Cause you held on with all of your might

Child, your cries have awoken the Master.

Oh, He knows your voice

Lift your hands, it's time to rejoice

Child, your cries have awoken the Master."

As promised, my confirmation came, and I knew. I can honestly say that I've never been so sure of anything in my life.

I'll never forget the first time Ethan told me he loved me. His eyes caught mine, and everything went still. Being speechless never used to be a problem for me, but in that moment I was afraid to say anything for fear it would shatter this perfect longed-for moment. I know God must have smiled.

"Anna, I truly feel I've fallen in love with you." And all I could do was stare at him and grin that wide, stupid smile, and mumble something about how much I loved him, too.

Then, there came one fateful night. We were talking pretty seriously about spending the rest of our lives together, and thinking about different possibilities. We chose a date; August 8th. (Exactly seven months - to the day - from when he first called me.)
No, we weren't engaged. But we knew this was what God wanted for both of us, and that we couldn't live without each other. When you have Christ, you have everything. And with God for us, what could stand against us? Walking in His perfect will leaves you in the center of calm, because you know He will see you through.

Obviously, I was expecting him to ask me the next time he came to visit. BUT, I didn't know when that was going to be - that is, until he walked into my living room while I was playing the piano one afternoon, smiling his mischievous little smile.

The next day he wanted to see Hayman Falls (which happens to be my favorite place on earth), so we decided to drive out there and take a look at the water. I got us lost on the way there (yes, local girls...I know that's pathetic...but anyways) because I asked him to turn around when we were actually going the right way. But, hey! we got there.

We walked down the trail by the river and sat down on a moss-covered rock.

The trees loomed above us and the water ran fast, filling the woods with the indescribable peace of nature. I breathed deep, taking it all in.

"Anna? Do you still love me?"

Of course I did.

He just looked into my eyes for a second, as if trying hard to read something from them.

"Well, then...I guess I have something to ask you."

And he was pulling something out of his pocket.

I felt my eyes go wide. "Ethan, are you SERIOUS?!"

And he was holding the most gorgeous ring I had ever seen, asking me to marry him.

My hand went over my mouth (seeing as I was so shocked that all my dreams were coming true), and I just nodded my head.

He slipped it on my finger, while I still stared in disbelief.

"Oh my word... Ethan...

We're getting married!"

He grinned, and laughed his, "well, um, yeah" kinda laugh, and I looked up at the sky in perfect wonder.

God had heard every one of those wistful, wondering prayers about "Lord, I have no idea where my husband is, but I know you've called me to be a wife and mother. Please, God; give me faith to hold onto your promise even though I see nothing with these natural eyes." And He honored them, by giving me the most responsible, loving man there ever could have been. One who knows how to make me smile, can tell when something is bothering me (even if I don't tell him,) and actually loves me for me - the me that is full of mistakes and imperfections. He takes it all and calls me his girl, anyway.


And I can't understand why God would give me someone as perfect as Ethan to be mine forever. I feel so indescribably blessed, and incandescently happy.

"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart" - He doesn't disappoint.

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When God Writes Your Story

Bread of Idleness.

High school was over. I wasn't sure what He had in store for me - but, while I prayed hard and waited for His leadership, I knew this was no time to be idle. Honestly, I don't think God ever meant for his children to feel fulfilled, unless they were involved with some decent, honest form of work. Even in the garden of Eden, the Lord commissioned Adam to tend the Garden.

Wasting my time was the last thing I wanted to do, and I decided to make myself a schedule full of things that were important to me. It wasn't a staggering load, but I was excited to find my days suddenly full and meaningful. I was excited to get up in the morning and get busy on my to-do list. I was doing something worth-while.

People often think that stay-at-home wives and mothers sit around on the couch and eat chocolate all day. Playing with the kids, folding an occasional load of laundry or two, but, in general, just being lazy.

Heh. They must never have tried it - Mom let me take over the house for an extended period of time once and, really, I hardly had any free time at all. (And when I did have some, I was busy thinking about what was waiting for me when my "break" was up!) I was shocked at the workload she carried constantly. But there was a rigid schedule full of all the priorities - the "goals" for that day.

What kind of goals ought a single girl to have, these days? Your life is different from mine, and mine is different from yours. You'll have a different list - but here's a few ideas.

• Devotions. Go ahead and set aside half an hour of your day to read the Bible and pray. One chapter as soon as you get up, and one chapter before you go to bed is also a great idea.
• Exercise. I know - I hate it, too. But it is very important. Start small, though; you won't be able to do 30 push ups the first day.
• Read/Research. If you're not learning something new (vocabulary words, recipes, you name it!) your ideas can get stagnant. A good biography would be a nice start.
• Create. Look around your room, or even your whole house and look for things to spruce up. There are tons of ideas on Pinterest. Skirts to make, walls to paint, cards to design, gifts to create...
• Be sure to do something fun with at least one of your siblings every day. How do you want them to think of you? The busy grump who never had time to read a bedtime story? or the fun older sister who has spur-of-the-moment Nerf wars at 9:00 in the morning??
• Make a point to find someone to encourage/help besides your immediate family. People are so busy these days, and the number of folks who actually take time to say "I care" is growing increasingly few.
  
  The possibilities are endless - but remember not to build a schedule so heavy that you become burned out after the first two days. Keep it light and fun - and remember that it's okay to miss a day every now and again.
  
  
  What things would you add to your list?

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Bread of Idleness.

Retreat Lessons

Youth Camp is always incredible - especially when you come expecting God to move in a special way for YOU, personally. As usual, the Lord met with us and our faith was encouraged.

Sometimes, as the months pass and the "daily grind" takes it's toll, you forget what God spoke to you in those special moments or how He dealt with your heart. Thus, I'm just writing down a few of the things that spoke to me, or stood out in the services. Thought you might be blessed by it, too. :)

• "How do you know God loves you? Because He said He does." There are so many arguments about "If God were real...If God cared...If God was so loving...then, Why?!" The above statement is also the perfect answer for Satan's reasons why "You don't deserve God's love anymore." It's true, we don't. But Christ makes us worthy.


• I was reminded not to be so lackadaisical in my walk with the Lord. We're supposed to be watching the signs of the times and preparing ourselves - zealously waiting with great anticipation. Plan for a thousand years - but don't turn a blind eye to the hour we're living in!


• It was incredible to me how the ministers who were preaching not only spoke about some things that I had been asking God about, but they were using the exact phrases I had prayed in my quiet, "prayer closet" conversations with the Lord. Who says God isn't mindful?!


• "He heard you the first time." Sometimes we don't feel anything when we pray; no mighty rushing wind, no ray of light piercing through the darkness, no audible voice - And we feel deflated and worried, like something isn't right and God refuses to listen to us in our time of need. Have faith. If there's no besetting sin to hinder you and your heart is clear, don't think He isn't listening. He heard you the first time.


• I've always thought it was so sad to see all the girls these days who mope that "I'm never going to get married. Nobody likes me. Nobody could ever want me. There's no guys in my church. Here I am, just graduated high school, and nobody's interested." (Yeah...the syndrome of desperate 18 year olds). I've never quite gathered the courage to write a post about it, but I've always wished I could tell them: "Hey! We trust God for salvation, for a job, to keep our family members, to make a way for us, and is He not faithful?! There's no way He's incapable of bring the right one, at the right time."
  
  Yup, you guessed it - that was brought up in the sermons, too. (And I was equally encouraged.)


• Never, ever give up on the loved ones who have "gone out into the world."  All of our faith was raised a notch (and I'm pretty sure there wasn't a dry eye in the whole sanctuary) when Brother Jonathan got up and testified of how the Lord had brought Him back to the truth. One of Jonathan's friends (and I'm sure, his parents, youth group and church) had refused to give up on him and continually brought his name before the throne of grace. It took three years, but at Winter Youth Retreat 2014, God honored those prayers. If God could do it in his situation, I know God can do it in mine.
  
  
  Okay. Before I write a whole book, I had better cut it off. In summary, I was so blessed and encouraged at retreat this year. God's not dead - and He cares about young people and their questions. Never let Satan tell you that your too far gone, too small or too despicable for God. God loves you because He said He does, and there is no repentant heart that God won't cleanse and make whole again.
  
  God Bless.

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Retreat Lessons

Clothes, Clothes, Clothes... {A Survey For You!!}

I'm a total girly-girl. Putting together outfits is one of my favorite things to do. Shopping...well, I love it! And Fixing my hair is my favorite part of the day. Gimme ruffles, lace, hair flowers and accessories and I'm one happy girl.

It can become a fault, though; when it's taken too far. The other day ((when I was cleaning out my closet)), I was amazed at how many outfits I had that had gotten buried under the surface layer. (*blushes.) I counted them, and realized that I, in all reality, have all the clothes that I actually need for this fall, this winter, and even next summer.

That is, minus the articles I don't like, the ones that everyone has already seen me wear before, and the ones that aren't flattering to my complexion or figure (in color, design, sleeve-length, etc.).

I stopped myself, rather disgusted. Here I had all these clothes - more than enough - and still, just because I've worn "the green cardigan"  to Camp twice I'm discounting it from my inventory of next summer's clothes.

Silly girl.

But then, I became curious. It's obviously ridiculous to do this. A weakness. An unfortunate habit. But, how many of us are guilty of this pitiful crime? I thought it would be hilarious to do a survey - just for laughs; because I know there has to be other girly-girls like me, out there.

If you ((Including the moms!)) could be so kind as to fill out the following questions and help me out, I'd appreciate it!

1. When shopping you:

A. Are willing to splurge a little if the item makes you look truly beautiful - and it takes you fifteen minutes in the dressing room to figure out if it does or not.

B. Practicality is your policy. If it's cheap and decent, it's a go - otherwise, leave it on the rack!

2. If your hair-do has fallen a little lower than your usual standards you:

A. Have no confidence all day. It drives you crazy.

B. Ah, well. If I don't have time, I don't have time...

3. You're going out for coffee and most of your clothes are dirty or in the wash. All that's left is the coral sweater and jean skirt that you remember wearing last time you were with these girls. You:

A. Pull a different outfit out of the dryer (It wouldn't be done on time, otherwise), grab the hair dryer and pray it'll be dry. Otherwise, you'll just have to wear damp clothes and hope nobody gives you a hug.

B. Well, they're my friends. They won't care.

4. When planning your wardrobe your idea of "perfect" is:

A. Enough outfits so that I don't have to wear the same ones twice...for, like, a month.

B. Seven every-day outfits, and a couple dressy outfits, too.

5. What is one of your favorite outfits (Dressy or casual) right now, and why? {Be honest!}

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Clothes, Clothes, Clothes... {A Survey For You!!}

Hair Policy.

 

This afternoon Becca was getting ready for her piano lesson. Quickly, I pulled her hair up into a high ponytail and called it done.

She turned to me with big, startled eyes.

"Did you do a part?" It was an alarmed demand.

"Um, no...I thought it would look cute without one."

"Anna, my hair doesn't look good without a part, at least, I don't think so, could you re-do it?

See, I have this hair policy -" and she began to explain it to me.

Laughing inwardly, I turned her around and re-styled her ponytail. I was the same way when I was little. In fact, I'm the same way now.

There's something in every girl that wants to be beautiful and is horrified when circumstances render her to be {what she feels is} less than that.

Feeling cute is what drives us to shop for hours, try on half the closet before going out, fiddle around with different hairstyles, and, when we think we've failed, feel absolutely hideous. Somehow, it takes away from the day - no matter how wonderful it is, if you know the cardigan you threw on before flying out the door makes you look like an oversized snowman. Period.

That can't be helped. But I find that there's something else that can ruin your whole day, too. A beautiful spirit is hard to maintain if you don't take the time to freshen up your peace, or fail to refill your Charity. It gets hard to give of yourself, if your own stores are on empty. In all the busyness of my day, if I don't set aside half an hour to read my Bible and pray, I just feel wilted.

It doesn't take much - just 30 minutes set-aside for God. But it can change the whole outcome of the day. It's a time to rest, shake off the heavy burdens and be reminded of God's promises.

"The name of the Lord is a strong tower. The righteous runneth into it and is safe."

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Hair Policy.

Here for this.



 

All want their lives to count for something

To leave their mark when life is through

But vain pursuits will count for nothing

time will erase what e're we do.

I want my life to count for Jesus

For earthly things will quickly fade

No need to add to worldly riches

I only seek eternal gain.

 

Inside my heart there burned a question

What was I placed on earth here for

It truly was to build a Kingdom

Not of my own but for the Lord.

Awhile back I was having one of those "discouraged" kind of days. Those ones where you wonder if what you do and who you are is really important or effective at all. This is the song that came to mind - the words are so simple, but it left a calm in my heart. Read them slowly and be inspired.

 

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Here for this.

Conversation Concentration.

There are some people who are just fun to be around; fun to talk to. They aren't so backward that they're afraid to get past "Hi. How are you?" but not so brash as to only talk about themselves. Those are the conversational skills that I admire - the kind that gently draws the other person out of their shell and makes them feel cared-for, without them feeling overwhelmed at the idea of having to hold up half of the conversation.

I used to try to be reserved. My sister informs me that it never worked. Still, there's not a doubt in people's minds whether or not I "like to talk" nowadays. Truth is, I do enjoy a fun conversation, but I was a little surprised when someone once mentioned how talkative I was.

Being a preacher's kid, means having lots of company over at the house. Lots. After a few years, I finally figured out that being reserved and respectable was very important - but there comes a point when you get tired of waiting for the other person to answer another "So, what's your favorite thing to do, back home?" kind of question; a point when you both get tired of sitting across from each other in complete, awkward boredom, fishing for something else to say. That's when I decided that I needed to step out of my awkwardness and just...fix it. {Laugh! Be dramatic! Put some PERSONALITY into it!}

Through trial and error, I figured out that there is also vast difference between yacking on and on and on with great detail and dramatic pointlessness about oneself, and cultivating an interesting conversation. Conversational skill is a lost art; and it takes bravery and good judgment to perfect it. {That is, if there is such a thing as perfecting it.}

I have certainly not perfected it, and, thus,  I find it interesting to study the fundamentals of conversing. If I could knock what I've learned down into some nice easy-to-follow points, I would probably do it like this:

• Get past yourself. Really, it's not about you. It's about entertaining your guest. Face your fear!
• Tell Stories. Don't just stick with the typical, "Oh, yes. I enjoy cooking, too. <insert smile>. Break off into a story about your latest cooking flop that will entertain the other person - chances are, this would open up a few stories that they'd be willing to share.
• Always Express Interest In What They Have To Say. While (with a quiet person), you may have to carry more than your half of the convo, try not to be so focused on being "the court jester" that the other person can't get a word in edgewise - be sure to acknowledge their input, ask questions about them, and laugh at their jokes.
  
  Basic? Yes. But very challenging.
  
  So, I'm curious; what do you think? Any pointers on hostessing or conversations?

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Conversation Concentration.

You never know how far a latte can go... {Random post on my morning.}

He was singing in the lusty, loud way that only a 12 year old boy can. "Hoooooowwwww aaaaaaaaaare yyoooooooouuu...."

We were making breakfast. He, in charge of the eggs, me warming up a "milk steamer" - because I didn't feel like coffee. This boy is downright rambunctious in the morning: excruciating bear hugs, or old fashioned sweep-you-off-your-feet scenarios are typical. This morning it had been the latter.

"You wanted the white slimy, right?" He glanced over at me, with his mouth nearly twitching. This young man couldn't tell an untruth if he wanted to.

"You know better, Ike." My voice was still scratchy from waking up half an hour ago.

I continued whisking my milk into a foam while he cracked the eggs into his skillet. "Woops! Somebody's going to have a shell in theirs..."

"You should probably just pick it out real quick."

"Oh."

I love these kinds of mornings, with this kind of company. Twinkling black eyes, the vibe of constant energy, somebody who's at ease: singing, teasing, chatting, grinning. And it's "built-in" company, too. I love my brother.

Five minutes more had me finished with my steamer, and also the two "vanilla lattes" the two youngest had been begging me for. I gently poured my drink into two coffee cups.

By this time, he had finished making breakfast and was slouched into the comfort of our big, easy chair, reading his Bible.

"Here's your latte, Ike."

He looked up, surprised. Had he forgotten that he'd asked me for it?

 His eyes changed from the serious look of concentration to a completely radiant one; his whole face lit up in one of the most beautiful smiles I'd ever seen."Oh thank you, Anna..."

In any case, it made my whole day.

Mental note: If you ever get a chance to do something nice for a sibling again, snatch it! Sometimes you just don't know what it will mean to the person receiving it.

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You never know how far a latte can go... {Random post on my morning.}

Trusting

Call it "part of growing up", if you will, but I've noticed that, the older I get, the bigger life's 

mysteries and questions become.

Peering off into the distance, straining my eyes for a glimpse of "What's next", I do a lot of wondering - hoping, too. Ideas and plans swirl in the mist. Some are weak and gray - those dissipate in the quiet breeze, but others rise and swell, strong and stronger; plans, ideas, dreams...

Shifting to get a better view, I feel something still and solid; firm beneath me. Slowly, I stretch my hand over the smooth weather-beaten rock. I've come to trust it; this sure foundation to build on. This is my hope. This is my anchor.

Sometimes we underestimate the reality of God - His ability to direct our paths and steady our footing. I look up at the sky, the stars coming out, one by one, the mist growing darker; the moon waxing bright. He sees them, up there. Knows them by name.

My gaze falls to the tree branch overhead. Yes, He made this too. And, closing my eyes, I know He sees me. 

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Trusting

Guest Post by Elisabeth Wallace

 
Elisabeth wrote this post for our Castle Keepers group. I was considering composing just such a list for my readers here and, being somewhat of an opportunist, asked if I could borrow hers. Here it is - hope it will inspire you like it did me.

 

I’ve heard it said that there is only a few years between your last spanking and when you get married… Hmmm :) Maybe you think that year is far off but is it? Whether that day is 1 or 2 or even 5 years away there are some things you can be doing right now while you are waiting.

 

1. Pray for your future mate.

 

If it’s the Lord will for you to get married, you have a wonderful privilege to be able to pray for the young man God has chosen for you.  Pray that the Lord give you a Holy Ghost filled mate, that he watches over that young man, protects him, helps him in his decisions and keeps him from the snares of the enemy.

 

Who you marry is the biggest decision you will ever make outside of giving your heart to the Lord. Each one of you young ladies wants the Lord’s best in your lives so talking and praying to our dear heavenly Father about it is the greatest thing you could do.

 

“I tell you, dear friend: the best way to find the will of God in some important matters is prayer.” Questions & Answers 1961

 

My dad prayed for my mom before he ever met her. He would pray that the Lord would bless, keep and guide her. Sometimes he would look up at the stars and wonder if she was looking at them, too.  What a romantic!

 

Wouldn’t it be special if you knew that the young man God has chosen for you was asking the Lord to be with you and to help you each day?

 

2. Develop your character by becoming best friends with those in your own family.

If you have siblings, God has given you an opportunity to have built in friendships within your own family. But many times we look at our brother or sister as someone we must endure rather than as a friend.

 

Marriage does not change your disposition even if you marry the best man on the planet. Why?

Because character is not a gift but a victory as Bro. Branham said.

 

We all want to be a wonderful helpmeet for our future husbands but now is a training ground for that time. So determine with God's help to be the sister you should be.  Do kind deeds for your siblings without grudging. Something they wouldn't expect from you. Surprise them.

 

Make them your best friend. Talk to them about the things that interests them. Do things with them.

Maybe there are times when your sibling is not being agreeable at all. Remember the Scripture, “A soft answer turneth away wrath.” Stop in that heated moment, take a deep breath, ask for God to help you and respond kindly. Go to your room, if possible, and compose yourself. And always remember to pray about it. Prayer really is the key to everything.

 

Build your character now before you say the "I do's" at the altar.

 

3. Establish Good Habits.
Now is the time to form habits that you will want to take into marriage. Any good habit you have in place during your single years will make the marriage years so much easier. When you get married there is so much to learn but if you have worthy habits in place you will make smoother days for yourself.

 

One of the best things about habits is that once they are habits they become so automatic that you don't even have to think about them.

 

Some habits that will stand you in good stead....

• Making your bed every morning
• Keeping your room tidy with clothes picked up (after all how do you expect to keep a house if you cannot keep your room)
• Having a schedule for how often you change your sheets
• Eating foods that will benefit your health and the health of your future children
• Exercising for your health and the health of your future children
• Having a personal time with the Lord everyday

 

This is not an exhaustive list. It is just some things that I feel are very important for young girls to work on now.

 

To recap. Pray for your future husband! Enjoy your brothers and sisters and learn habits that you can keep forever.

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Guest Post by Elisabeth Wallace

Decisions, Decisions...

 

 

 

 

With graduation planning beginning to liven things up and the few credits I've been working on slowly winding to completion, there comes questions. Lots and lots of them. The kind that come from friends, extended relations and, hardest of all, the ones that roll over and over in my mind. All of them beg to know:

"What are you going to do with your life?"

For the other girls who might be going through this "deciding time," (or who are going to be in a couple years) I just wanted to encourage you a bit.

It's hard to know what to do, isn't it? Options are everywhere (College...No college. Teaching...Nursing. Librarian...Musician) wide and varied they stretch before you. The choice is all yours, but there are a million voices and opinions. Who do you listen to? What do you choose?

In my world, there's a big push for college...college...college. In general the very subject of college is a tricky one that can cause major dissension. Some people avoid it like the plague and look down on those who go, while others promote it to ridiculous heights and disdain the ones who choose other paths.

I've decided the real question is not "To go, or not to go..." but rather "What is my life's calling? What does God want me to do right now."

I have no clue what God wants for you. Your peers don't either. This is one of those things that you need to hash out with Him. In reality, it's not what your friends think - or, quite frankly, what your family thinks.  It's not even about a paycheck. God created you with your gifts, your weakness, your passions. He put you in your family, your town and your state.

You have a purpose that's more than "This is the fastest way to be successful." It goes beyond mortal ideas; way back before the world's foundation, when God was thinking about you. Before He shaped the first man; before He came "Down from His Glory" to redeem His chosen people, He was thinking about you, seeing you, loving you.

Think about it: He could have used you back in Bible times, or during the Civil War - but God new that now was the best time. He has a job for you to do while you're here. He didn't just want to "Save" you - He wanted to be your best friend, your "mission" and your everything.

Did you realize God was that personal?  He has big plans for you - to shape you and mold you. Jesus himself said He would provide your clothes. He would provide your food. He would guide you and show you where your next footstep should be. If we can just look beyond what society calls "successful" and "fulfilled" and close our eyes to it all, falling on our knees and whispering in our hearts "I want to serve You, Lord."

He said if you'd seek, you'd find. If you'd knock, it would be opened to you eventually. He may test your faith and patience, but God's Word doesn't lie. Approach Him in honesty and make sure no hidden sin can stop your prayer, wait on Him and He promised to answer.

Whether He created you to be a housewife, a social worker or a cleaning lady, He's going to take care of you and He has precious things in store for you. When situations go wrong, you can rest, knowing you're in His perfect will and He's going to take care of you like He promised.

Waiting is hard though, isn't it? I know - I'm doing it to. Sometimes I get impatient with waiting and it's frustrating that a lot of people don't understand what "I'm praying about it" means. It's hard when negative comments "strike a nerve" and you have to smile as if you didn't feel the sting. It's hard when you're doing what you feel to be right, when most of the world disagrees with your decision - but Moses stood. Elijah stood. Esther stood. Mary stood - and Jesus stood.

I think it would bless God's heart to see His children sacrificing their reputations and plans to pray, like He did one dark, lonely night in Gethsemane  "Father, not my will, but Thine be done."

Like salvation's story, you may have to go through a hard, dark battle - but God is going to raise you up in victory one day and as your last battle fades, He will say "Welcome home my good and faithful servant" - and no hardship will matter anymore.

Press on for Jesus and ask Him to guide you - He's never led me wrong before and I know He will see me through now. We aren't standing by ourselves, He cares...and He knows what it feels like. Cast your burdens upon Him and let Him be your strength.

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Decisions, Decisions...

Thanks for Now

As Christians, we always try to meditate on the coming of Christ a this time of the year. His birthday was actually in spring, we know, but with the reminders all around us, we like to take time and let the reality sink in.

So we think about the starry sky above Bethlehem, the quiet, unassuming stable, the shepherds, the angels, and we give thanks. But there's another part of this story that we forget about sometimes; the "today" part of Christmas is something to be thankful for, too.

It's all connected, really. Without his birth, there would have been no Bible to show us how to overcome. There would have been no crucifixion. There would have been no Easter morning.

 Years later, that night in Bethlehem is still affecting us; because the God who was born in the stable is the same One who lives in our hearts and blesses our lives with His presence.

I think that, too often, we overlook all the things that He does for us now. We pray when we're troubled. We pray when we need healing. We ask for His grace every day - but do we stop and thank Him? Do we ever ask God to show us how we could be used for His glory? What we could give?

Lately I've been journaling about everything that I'm thankful for. It's amazing what a beautiful life I have - even on the hardest days - because when I sit down at night and write out the little things (sometimes big things) that I appreciated or enjoyed through the day, the list never fails to be less than (at least) 10 items long. (Usually, I could go on, but I get tired of writing.)

I'm going to try and keep doing this every day for all of 2014.

So, I'm curious, what are three of the best things that happened to you in 2013?

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Thanks for Now

Con-sister-ing

"Hold still."

I grimaced, looking at my outfit in the mirror, while she yanked my scarf into a cute little knot.

"Kara, you're hurting me."

We were drinking lattes and getting ready for church in my bedroom.

"This jacket makes me look like Superman," I groaned.

"Nope. That other one you had on looked more like Superman."

My suitcase lay on the floor, all ready for the early flight tomorrow. Unfortunately, I had packed away most of my favorite accessories and was left with a few unusual substitutes on this particular Wednesday night.

Kara happens to be an outfit sleuth and was directing her attention to my evening wardrobe. Meanwhile, Becca twirled around the room singing the only three lines of "Matchmaker" that she knew from Fiddler On The Roof.

Funny. We don't even like that movie.

This is what being sisters is all about - the goofy behind-the-scenes moments. The thoughtful, helpful nature that takes time to "give a hand." The candid laughter. The pathetic, stark,  honesty that they share so plainly.

For example: Becca decided to liken each member of the family to an Adventures In Odyssey character this afternoon. (If you don't know what that is, you're missing out.)  I could hardly believe my ears - Penny Wise? Really?

She didn't mean it badly - Penny was "Awesome" in ideology. "She's so funny! And she gets into mysteries...and stuff like that..."

But that's another great thing about sisterness - forgiving. *wink

I don't know how three girls who are so different can be so close. It's amazing.

I'm just glad it'll be too early for them to come to the airport tomorrow. Knowing me and my tendency toward sentimentality, I'd probably cry before Dad and I managed to get through security.

{It's awful; but I hate goodbyes. Airports only seem to make things worse, for some reason.}

You know, a lot of people think sisters are annoying. Every great once-in-a-while they'll admit to loving them; or, at least, liking them a little. But I think we should take advantage of our years together and MAKE SURE they know how special they are to us. Not in a syrupy-sweet kind of way, but when you have an opportunity to do something for them or tell someone how nice they are, it certainly wouldn't hurt matters.

What's something you love about your sister or brother?

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Con-sister-ing

Once More

 

 

 I wanted to go, but it was completely unlikely that I could, so I didn't bother with "Do you think I could come, too?" That would be ridiculous.

While I thought about how unthinkable it was, I slowly remembered how God had supplied for me this very summer; things that I didn't "need", just wanted.

I had looked for a job, prayed for one, searched the newspaper for openings...and it wasn't that the employers didn't want to hire me, but a clear obstacle kept me from the opening and I knew it simply wasn't God's will.

 So I waited; but I had no money and lots of things I wanted to do. There wasn't anything to be done except to pray; and as I prayed, I watched as, before my amazed eyes, God brought situations and opportunities into my path in perfect time.

Sometimes it had felt frivolous to ask for these things; they were big and exciting...but  altogether unnecessary.

The jobs were temporary (I was making bee-hives; awesome, right?) and future provision wavered like a mirage in the desert. But as time went on, I found God supplying everything for me -  from one need to the next -  and I began to realize that I  do serve the One who says "The silver is mine, and the gold is mine, saith the Lord of hosts."

As I stood in awe of the perfect way He supplied every single time, I realized that I could trust Him for everything - even the "small", "unimportant" stuff.


I thought about the beautiful banquet dress that came out of nowhere when modest dresses were hard to find (and incredibly expensive, most of the time!). I remembered the trip to PA that God had granted when I had no way to get there. I remembered how He supplied funds for a trip to Winter Youth Retreat when I had no money and no way of getting any. All are answered prayers. All are treasured gifts. All are miraculous to me.


So I prayed, quietly. "If it's your will," and  remained neutral. Whatever  He decided would be fine.

I forgot about it.

A few days later there was a mischievous smile on my younger sisters face. "I know something you don't know."

I begged and pleaded but she wouldn't tell me.

Mystery ended with Dad reading aloud from the computer screen, confirming "two tickets" for Arizona on the 21st of November.

I was floored.

A trip with Dad, all by myself! And I would get to fly for the first time since I was three, to the Native American meeting. How sweet of him! God's so awesome.

My brain leaped to what outfits to take with me; and immediately began wondering if it would be possible to stuff them all into a single bag. What about going through security? Would they let me wear bobbypins? What would I do without my  bobbypins? Would they, at least, let me take some in my suitcase?

 

 I walked to the mirror and paused. With a smile nearly splitting my face, I said slowly, "YOU are going to Arizona." And with that, reality struck and excitement swelled, good and warm.

 

Now, as I add this item to the list of  God's realities in my life, I feel so blessed to have a Dad who would  spend the time and money on me like this, and I'm thankful for the unselfish mother who suggested Dad let me go in her place because, in her words, (when I asked her why,) "You needed it more than I did."

 

More than this, I'm grateful to have a Heavenly Father who would surround His children with this happiness, this joy, this blessing. One who cares to be real in His servant's life.

 

Let Him be real in yours!

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Once More

What God Just Did for Me

My neck hurt so bad. Therefore my head ached, too...as well as my ears - and is it possible for teeth to hurt? Well, they all did. Really bad.

Every time I stood up my head swam. Mom thought I looked like I was going to faint and sent me to bed. After I got up (after almost two hours rest) the pain gradually worsened.

Finally it was time for bed. I lay on the top bunk and cried quietly - it was hard to breathe (I imagined it was just because I drank too much water and my lungs couldn't expand properly.) I had a rice-pack around my neck and a cold-pack held to my forehead.

In about fifteen minutes, my hot-pack got cold and I went downstairs, shivering.

Back to bed.

It hurt.

I couldn't sleep.

After laying in tense misery for another twenty minutes, I eased myself out of bed and went back downstairs to re-warm my hot pack in the microwave.

 I felt very much like a five-year-old; I wanted Mom. But what could she do? We'd already prayed about it...I would just be keeping her awake for no good reason. "Anna, you just need to grow up," I told myself, still shaking with cold and crying.

While I waited for the microwave to finish, I started to pray.

Then it dawned on me.

Pray.

That's Who I could talk to. What a perfect opportunity.

I prayed all the way up the stairs, I prayed myself into the bunk-bed. I told Him everything; what I was going through, how confused I was about the things I was going through, how I wanted to serve Him with everything that was in me. I asked Him what He wanted me to do for Him in life, asked Him about some questions I'd been seeking answers to. We talked about my friends, we talked about acquaintances, we talked about the church...and just about that time, I began to notice that my head didn't hurt.

I raised my hands and started praising. I knew He had to be there, in my bedroom, with me.

I ought to be in bed right now, and I'm going to be in a few minutes, but I just wanted to testify of the pain that's (at this moment) almost completely gone. Furthermore, I'm so happy about what God's getting ready to do for all the people that I prayed for - because He said "Ask and ye shall receive, seek and ye shall find, knock and it shall be opened unto you."

It's amazing that He cares for somebody like me - never let the devil tell you that God doesn't love you and that you're too imperfect for Him to bother with. It isn't true - because that's what Satan was telling me tonight, and God just showed him up.

I'm so excited for the answers to my questions that will be coming soon, and am very thankful for His strength in perfect weakness. I know  He's already got a plan for my good and that the situations I'm facing right now are already conquered in the name of Jesus Christ who bought my freedom with His own blood.


                                                                 Psalm 31: 19-24

¹⁹ Oh how great is thy goodness, which thou hast laid up for them that fear thee; which thou hast wrought for them that trust in thee before the sons of men!
²⁰ Thou shalt hide them in the secret of thy presence from the pride of man: thou shalt keep them secretly in a pavilion from the strife of tongues.
²¹ Blessed be the Lord: for he hath shewed me his marvellous kindness in a strong city.
²² For I said in my haste, I am cut off from before thine eyes: nevertheless thou heardest the voice of my supplications when I cried unto thee.
²³ O love the Lord, all ye his saints: for the Lord preserveth the faithful, and plentifully rewardeth the proud doer.
²⁴ Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the Lord.

(This whole chapter is inspiring - if you have time, it would be great to read the whole thing!)

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What God Just Did for Me

Vibrant

 

I felt broken. What happened to the little-girl simplicity that I used to have? Everything is so mysterious and complicated at this point in life. People's feelings and thoughts mingle deeply, like tree roots, far beneath the ground. Decisions, pressures, character flaws, problems, changes, solutions...they all swirl like a silent pool of water - deep and unknown questions.

 

I lay my head on the pillow. I'd never understand it. I'd never be the girl I really wanted to be.

 

I looked at myself and I looked at who I was supposed to be - who I really desired to be - and saw so much lacking. Where I wanted confidence, I felt only fear. Where I wanted strength, I saw complete weakness. Where I wanted wisdom, I only remembered, with torment, all the things that I'd ever said that weren't right.

 

I hated me. For my weakness. For who I was. For my mistakes.

 

Something told me that it didn't have to be this way. Underlying, I knew people did love me, I knew God forgave me of all I ever did wrong, I knew He made me with this, creative, different personality for a reason; that it was a good reason - but I just couldn't forgive or accept myself with this  parade of flaws and mistakes constantly scrolling through my mind.

 

I wanted to be free. I knew God wanted His children to be at peace, to not worry, to trust and rejoice. He didn't give us the spirit of bondage, to fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind."

 

  I'd seen this crush others who couldn't accept who God made them. I'd seen how miserable they'd become. I'd seen how they were believing what wasn't true - feeling alone, in a world of people who cared about them.

 

I didn't want that.

 

When I prayed, I really didn't know if I could be free from these fears. It was part of my personality to think deeply, love deeply and hurt deeply. But a scripture came to mind "Nothing shall be impossible with God." Further than that, the Sunday service whispered hope to me, and, finally, in my morning devotions I read about how God doesn't want us to just wish for things, He wants us to stand on His promises and believe His Word.

 

Why am I sharing something so personal? Because I know that there are many of us who feel like we're different and unaccepted. Most people do, I've come to realize. We're shocked when we find out that someone actually cares about us. We're afraid that if people saw us make one, little mistake, they'd tear us to shreds. We're afraid we don't matter.

 

This writing isn't a complaint, but a testimony. I just wanted you to know, that you can be free, like I am, today.

 

"How?" you say, wondering if it's true. (If you're like I was, you've exhausted every mental exercise that ought to have made you know how loved and amazing you really are.)

 

I could continue this pattern and give you a few scripture verses, but what you really need is for the verses to come alive. You have to get desperate and start crying out to God.

 

 

 

"Ask and you shall receive." Sometimes it takes a while before the answer comes, but if you know nothing can hinder your prayer, just keep waiting on God and overcome the doubts "by the blood of the lamb and the word of your testimony." Praise God for your victory (that's on the way!) and keep hanging on no matter how long it takes.

 

It's His will for us to be happy. It's His will for us to be at peace. It's His will for us to be overcomers

 

 He paid the price for your freedom - you don't have to live in bondage. What are you waiting for?

 

I'm telling you - it's wonderful.

 

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Vibrant

Remembering We're Not Alone

Psalm 139

1 O lord, thou hast searched me, and known me.

² Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off.
³ Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways.
⁴ For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O Lord, thou knowest it altogether.
⁵ Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me.
⁶ Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain unto it.
⁷ Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence?
⁸ If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.
⁹ If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea;
¹⁰ Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me.
¹¹ If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me; even the night shall be light about me.
¹² Yea, the darkness hideth not from thee; but the night shineth as the day: the darkness and the light are both alike to thee.
¹³ For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother's womb.
¹⁴ I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.
¹⁵ My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
¹⁶ Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them.
¹⁷ How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them!
¹⁸ If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand: when I awake, I am still with thee.
¹⁹ Surely thou wilt slay the wicked, O God: depart from me therefore, ye bloody men.
²⁰ For they speak against thee wickedly, and thine enemies take thy name in vain.
²¹ Do not I hate them, O Lord, that hate thee? and am not I grieved with those that rise up against thee?
²² I hate them with perfect hatred: I count them mine enemies.
²³ Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts:
²⁴ And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Isn't it such a comfort, to know He understands?

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Remembering We're Not Alone

Someday I'm going to grow up...

 

 

I sagged into my mothers embrace after stumbling up half the stairs, exhausted. "Here I go...into the lion's den," I mumbled, sadly.

She either didn't hear. or ignored me. I still felt bad for saying it.

The lions den - a relatively cozy place with comforting sheets, an airy bed-spread, comfy nightgowns and darkness a...nice...peaceful place to fall asleep.

Sometimes.

In the darkness every night, three of the big cats slink in.

One shakes its mane and yawns in my ear, "I can't sleeeeep...I'm not tired."

The other bounces up and down on the foot of my bed and grins like a big kitty about to eat an antelope. "I heard this great joke this afternoon..."

The third is small and often curls up under the cotton sheets beside me. "But Anna," she coaxes, with an irresistible shine in her eye, "you haven't told me a story in forever."

"Not tonight, okay?"

"Well, could you at least rub my back?"

I sigh, and try to stuff my selfishness back into wherever it came from. "Yes...I'll tell you a story...I suppose.

Once upon a time there was a frog who lived in the mud at the bottom of a pond. His name was Albert and he loved to eat flies, but one day...."

And an hour later, the cute felines head off to their own separate quarters.
***

"Why, that's terrible," you're thinking, "likening your siblings to troublesome lions."

Yup. I would have to agree with you. Therefore, I write the following;

It's sad, but I've noticed that most big sisters and brothers come to frown upon such precious disturbances{as described above} at some point in time -  no matter how much they love or appreciate their miniatures.

We try to avoid the troublesome questions; "Will you pleeeeeese read me a story?"in the afternoon, "Could ya rub my arm?" in the morning and "Sing to me?" at night.

We have the best of intentions, really, but it's just that we get annoyed. And selfish.

But something occurred to me a while back.

I'm 17 this year and a senior in high school. Next year I'll be 18 and a graduate. (Are you following, so far? Good.)

As a little girl, I imagined that 18 or 19 was as old as you could possibly get. After that, there was nothing but a vast expanse of unknown. You simply had to disappear into the vast cavern of adulthood, never to be thought of again...someplace faraway, with a possible husband and children...maybe...because you never knew what was past 18.

While I have matured (at least slightly ), in my imaginings, and do realize that life does go on past the teen years... that whole "going away" thing still lingers in my mind. I have no clue where I'm going to be in two years; here at home, Alaska, Texas, China, a tropical island somewhere...I'm still praying about what the Lord's will is for my life, but I know one thing; my family members are my five best friends, and I want it to stay that way.

We've grown to be very close (duh.) but when we all get older and move away - (off to college, or cooking school, or just the other side of town) I don't want the miles to separate our spirits, our love. I don't want contention and un-dealt-with problems to build walls between us. I want to make sure they know I love them, will be there for them, pray for them, do anything for them - even if that means singing to a little girl in the dark of  two-in-the-morning because she had a bad dream and didn't want to be alone.


Stop saying "No" so often and ask yourself "Will it really kill me to tell her a five-minute story before bed?" Think of a time - once a week, once a month, something - to genuinely let one your family members know how much you care. Take time to bond - let her sit on your lap, go ahead and play tag with him. Have fun together; build confidence.

"My family's strong. They know I love them...we all make mistakes sometimes, but that's okay..."

Yes, that is okay. But I've seen too many good families tear apart and quarrel like five-year-olds amongst themselves. It's pathetic, it's wounding, and it's horribly, horribly sad.

I don't want that - nobody does - and I think it's time to take advantage of the moments God has given us. Time to build up and bless the ones we're closest to (or, even,  that we are not closest to.)

Pray for unity, pray for wisdom, pray for self-control, pray over the differences that "drive you crazy" and let God do the work. We don't have to do it by ourselves.

And that crazy "bigger sister" would happen to me - and if you catch me before I have my hair fixed in the morning, you'll REALLY be terrified ;)

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Someday I'm going to grow up...

The Education of Anna Pyatskowit

 

Candidly, I'll say that I tend to have a very peaceful personality. I take life slowly - eyeing the details, doing my best at things and carefully, perfecionistically, adding the "laces and bows" to all hairstyles, plans, relationships, table settings, and the like.

Some people might call the above description "pokey-slow."  Maybe it is - but I like to justify myself as a diligent slowpoke, at the very least. ;)

Anyway, knowing my personality, I've often wondered what my future home will look like when (inevitably) company stops over unexpectedly. I've thought about whether or not meals would make it to the table on time and if my kids would still be schooling into the middle of August every year. What about the laundry - could I keep up with it?

Apparently I complained of my fears in front of mom a few too many times. 

Finally, she got that thoughtful/compassionate look in her eye and basically said "Anna, I think you'd do just fine, but you need confidence...and confidence comes by experience."

Oh, that I'd kept my mouth shut. When, when when will I ever learn to keep my mouth shut.

It just so happens that I'm a senior this year. Having already collected all of my high-school credits, save two, my schedule is very light.

Not now.

I'm currently pursuing a "BA in humanities with a concentration on homemaking" at White Oak Christian College (which is still White Oak Christian School for my three siblings.) (Of course I'm kidding, but did you know you can actually go for that degree in some colleges?)

Therefore, I am in charge of the cooking, menu-planning, laundering and tidying of the Pyatskowit household for the entire month of September - and possibly the whole school year.

Part of me is scared to death, and the other part is excited. However this turns out, it will definitely be an adventure.

That's where you come in. Dear blogging friends, I shall be posting of my successes and woes on this blog twice a week. I promise. (Er, *cough*, I promise to try, anyways.)

It should be rather comical.

For the record though, I'm very thankful mom came up with this idea and don't regret opening my mouth in front of her at all. I was being sarcastic ;)

Wish me luck!

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The Education of Anna Pyatskowit

When He asks me...

My keys jingle in the stuffy, close van. The motor fades off. Doors roll open, fresh air pours in. The seats clear out, happy voices sigh with relief.

I grab my purse and the driver's door clunks open. My feet hit the pavement, my skin feels the cool.

Wisconsin.

When I left, I was discouraged with it. The place of lonely, cold, freezing, icy, frosty, bitter, arctic winters and loooong school days. The place where I waited for spring, summer, and finally youth camp in July when I could be with my friends.

Not this year.

I headed off for Camp with  a very defeated attitude. "Lord, I need help, again...please rescue your poor, bewildered child and help her to feel joyful...although I haven't a clue how you're going to do it..."

No, that's not how I prayed. No, that's not what I told anyone, but that is how I felt - if you want the stark reality of it.

It was all about me.

Too many times, I think we have our focus all wrong. "God, I need grace. "Jesus, I need peace." "Lord give me strength to overcome this dark trial." "Father, I need help with..." And those things are all well and good - furthermore, He wants to bless us, wants us to ask much - but we forget that the one who has given (and is giving) so much, isn't just a "please and thank you" collector.

He wants fellowship.

He wants us.

All of us.

When I caught that reminder, my mouth dropped open, a horror gripped me and my heart whispered "Oh God, I'm so sorry."

I was looking at my life through the wrong lens. I saw all the frustrating things that happened to me (why it wasn't fair that I didn't get any of the regal Native American skin tones or eye color that runs in the family, why I had to be the big-boned person, why I had to be the one who went to a small church with very few young people, why I was so imperfect, why I had to be the one who didn't have..."

But my life isn't mine. God has plans. God has reasons. He could have stuck me in a huge church with 500 seventeen-year-olds to hang out with every weekend, He could have made me short and dark and skinny as a stick, He could have made me to be good at math, He could have given me a writing style that wasn't so much like Anne-of-Green-Gables', He could have given me different character flaws to overcome, but He didn't.

In my darkest moments I wanted to howl "But, Lord, Whhhhhhhhhhy???"

Because He has a very particular work for me and He makes no mistakes.

I never really thought that God had me up here in Wisconsin for a reason (other than perfecting me through all the pain and woe). This is where He wants me to work for Him. This is what He's given me to overcome.  It's not so much a crucible, as it is a commission.

Can the One who endured endless temptations for me  ask me to give up the things that please me the most?

Can the One who was spit on, beaten and embarrassed for me ask me to let my friends go, one by one, and stand with Him, even when it feels "totally not cool"?

Can the One who sacrificed His own body's blood for me ask me to dress and act by His standards?

Can the One who was misunderstood, misrepresented, and alone in this World, (face it! There was nobody like Him down here) ask us to walk through friendless places and lonely times?

Can He ask you?

He was tempted in like manner as we are. He knows it's hard - but He also knows we can do it.


As a disclaimer I want to  say that my life here in Wisconsin isn't dull: I love the green, I love the cool, I love my family (they've become my best friends), I love our small church (everybody knows everybody), I love the school year, I love going hunting with my Dad in the fall, helping local farmers in the summer, swinging in the backyard  (when the schedule isn't busy), watching those around me grow in the Lord, and laughing/giggling/crying/learning together. I love my life. But, for too long I had focused on the few hard things - and they were hard - but God had given me so many good things, too.

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When He asks me...