Friday, September 27, 2019

ARE WE REALLY BEING TOO HARD ON OURSELVES | RANT



I hear so much about standards and motherhood.

"Lower your standards. It's the only way to be a mom and survive."

"Ignore the mess. Our standards have lowered with each child."

My inner OCD completely rebels upon hearing those phrases. Outwardly, I can laugh just as hard as the next mom. Heaven knows my floors are probably dirtier than the next mom's. But still; there's one little corner of my mind that always asks, "But, did I try? Did I give my best effort to my house and my family? Or did I use my (very busy) family as an excuse to not apply myself?" From day to day, that answer is different for me. We all fall short some days, and I'll be the first to raise my hands and admit it.

There's been a gradual, wide acceptance of all things "grunge" and "ick" for the sake of "living life to the fullest." I can't understand it.

I mean, I get it ya'll. There such a thing as "adapting to change", and "rolling with the punches", and "surviving" - Yes. I know full well the meaning of those phrases. {I have toddlers, and a logger-husband whose schedule is often unpredictable. Honestly, today I cleaned the outside of my porch windows for the first time in...I don't even know...}

But are we being realistic in our total bellyflop on anything that resembles order and tidiness?

I have been roundly criticized for keeping my house clean.

Clean-ish, really. 

The issue was not that I keep our residence in apple-pie order (Cuz I honestly don't) but for the fact that it matters to me when the porch windows haven't been cleaned in six months; that I care whether or not the bathroom has been scrubbed this week.

"Don't be so hard on yourself"

"The dust will always be there, your kids won't be."

"Enjoyyyyyy lyyyyyfeeee."

I don't criticize a messy house, friends. Mine is messy too; it needs organization and, probably, another good coat of paint in several areas. What I criticize here is the "I don't care" attitude that has sprung up and spread so rampantly - It's a special new brand of laziness that hides behind the "moral principal" of "spending enough time with your kids." (Or, in most cases; sitting next to them on the couch with your phone. )

I'm not suggesting that One should never sit down and have a steaming cup of coffee over her Pinterest boards - I do it all the time. I am suggesting that maybe we should reevaluate this whole idea of "Lowering standards in exchange for happy family living." More often than not, I'm afraid we're really "Lowering our standards because we have a good excuse that makes us feel okay about not trying very hard."

Blunt? Yes. Rude? Maybe. But I get so tired of seeing the slow decline of people as a whole. Whatever happened to stepping up to the plate? Whatever happened to priorities? And caring? And responsibility? Don't our kids need to see those exemplified in us just as much (if not more) than they need us to chill out and watch a movie? And what about working together? They need to know how to do things! They need life skills. 

There is a time to take a break - I don't dispute that. There are ridiculous weeks with company that leave houses looking like ground zero. There are toddlers who destroy their rooms in fifteen minutes flat.

Once more I reinforce: I don't judge a dirty house; but I do judge the apathy of not caring about the dirty house. 

"Not cleaning" is becoming more than a "dust problem."

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Life happens in all of our homes and there are certainly times when messes are part of the territory, but there is something in me that gets grumpy when the house is not orderly, an unrest that comes when the dust has accumulated and floors are sticky. I think God placed that within us to cause us to keep our houses clean...that need for a peaceful atmosphere, an ordered, tidy home.
Keep the standard high.

Anonymous said...

This post is fantastic & spot on! Thanks for sharing!