I was never one to enjoy verbal fencing matches, so I always kept my mouth shut and watched the debating from a distance, all the while cultivating my own opinion.
When the time came for me to make my choice, I made it firmly and with no regret - I stayed home.
One side of the fence would argue that I wasted my talents and my time working a dead-end job until I got married, got pregnant, and stayed at home with my two kids. Arguably: I had little in my bank account, and little in my pocket book - and no, even now, I am not pursuing a "get-rich" career.
The other side of the fence remarks piously that anyone with a good spiritual understanding and any brains at all wouldn't be going to college anyway. "Only weed-sniffers and crack-heads hang out in those dormitories."
I disagree with both sides.
Whatever happened to Christians who asked God what He thought?
That question has sobered me for years. So often college is stuffed down our children's throats as a measure of preparing them for "real life", and giving them a boost toward a well paying job. It's often viewed as the only way to become successful or "be anybody" in the world. " Only lazy people who end up on welfare fail to pursue higher education."
Obviously, as someone who has never gone to college and, thus far, has never seen any reason to go, I disagree. One argument has always forced itself prominently between me and that ideology; the simple truth that WE ARE INDIVIDUALS. We always have been, always will be.
I still believe that God has written out a script for each of our lives; a very intimate, personal thing with a very specific ending in mind: Furthering the Kingdom of God. As much as we strive, and struggle and complain about being who we are (too fat, to skinny, to little opportunity, not enough money, no friends) I don't believe that we "have what we have" or "are who we are" by chance, at all. I believe God needs people at every station in life to serve His purpose and work for His glory. That's what "success" is - fulfilling what God asks of us in this life.
In scripture we're commanded to preach the kingdom of God to every creature. Every creature; not just the coworkers at our high paying desk jobs. No, the garbage man needs to hear it too...and the little children at home...and maybe even the other teen girls who are working that "dead-end job" beside you.
God needs hands and eyes and loving hearts everywhere.
This short time of mortal living is our only chance to do something for the One who gave His life for us. How can we fail to ask Him what path He really wants us to take?
I don't doubt that He calls some young people to college. I believe in eduction. I believe in good doctors. I thank God for teachers, and bankers, and lawyers. But if God calls you to be a housewife, or to start a business from scratch, listen. It's not wrong.
There are so many statistics out there that I could add to this post. So many personal ideas and experiences that I could portray - but ultimately, our decisions shouldn't be based on personal opinion, popularity, or even hard fact. Our decisions should be made on the basis of sincere hours spent before God, searching out the course of our lives; seeking His pleasure, not a pat on the back from society.
I also dare to say that college is not for people who have not yet had a personal experience with God. Away from family, away from church, and constantly bathing in a secular atmosphere; a young boy or girl without the keeping power of the Holy Ghost will struggle and flounder in the deepest, hardest ways. Personal strength of character is not enough. It takes a supernatural force to keep a young person walking true to God in a college setting. Without it, the road will be long and difficult. I promise you, from personal experience.
I do realize that anyone who takes a stand for what they think is right will be criticized sternly and soundly from one quarter or another, and I embrace the challenge that comes with this as I have embraced all the other snide remarks that come from holding any form of Christian ideals. It's fine if you disagree, but my mind is made up. Sorry.
13 comments:
So very true. God has a specific plan for each person and we would save ourselves so much stress and trouble if we found out what that plan was before doing anything. Awesome post!
Enjoyed this read. Thank you for sharing,
d
great post Anna, I'd say I agree with you on nearly everything, especially that there seems to be no middle ground, either we are told we are wasting our lives by staying at home. or that we are following the worlds ways if we do go to college. So as you I mostly keep my thoughts to myself, partly because I don't like getting in the middle of things, but mostly because ever since I was about five I've felt called to be a stay at home wife and mother. It a calling I've felt very strongly, and the longer I walk with Jesus the stronger that feeling grows. Some people say I just that because I was raised in home with a stay at home Mum, but I truly believe God has called me to one day be a stay at home wife and Mum.
Thanks again for the great post it's always nice to hear from people who feel the same as me, in world so filled with people who look down on stay at home wives and mothers.
-Rose
P. S. sorry this is soooo long:) and thank you so much for the advice of blogging, I'll let you know if/when I start one.
Yes,I tell my girls (and son :)) the Lord's will is so critical when deciding plans after High School. I feel society (including Christian's) can place pressure on young women that they may not be "enough" or may miss out if they don't go away to a 4 year college or have a big career. Being a wife and mom ultimately is enough if that is the Lord's calling for them. I believe if being a wife and mom is the desire of a young girl's heart the Lord will honor that in His timing, and he will guide her steps in the meantime whether it be college, a job, etc.
Very good post Anna! It's encouraging to hear peoples' testimonies ..specially when you're one of the "different" ones too..keep this up! God bless you..
Awesome, awesome post! I could have written this, as you so beautifully fleshed out exactly as I have always felt on this.
One experience where this really hit hard, and kinda broke my heart: I was doing In-home Care taking care of a sweetelderly lady in her last days with cancer. She didn't talk a lot, but her sweet eyes said a lot to me. I made it my goal just to care for her, show her love, and be a part of ushering her with peace and grace to her time of meeting the Master. Her daughter-in-law came to visit. She was a very nice person, genuinely caring, tried to help make her comfortable, etc. The sad moment came when she had a conversation with me, sitting right near the foot of the dear lady's bed. The DiL was big on college and was saying to me how I could go to college and raise higher in position, and be able to teach others to give care like I did. I explained to her that that was not my calling, that I knew God wanted me right there at that level, giving care and directly involved with those I could touch. What was sad to me was that the conversation implied, unintentionally, but it still did, that the lady I was caring for was not as important as a career or raising higher in the world. The sad look in her eyes when I looked up told me she felt it. But, thankfully my response told her she was worth it, and important to me. I thank God for each person I was able to assist at such a sacred time in their life, and show love to. I miss that, but am happy and grateful to be in the stage of showing love to my own Littles now. Different calling, but just as awesome! Thank you, Anna, for your awesome and insightful writings!
Keep on writing, great job!
I'm really impresssd with your writing skills and also with the layout on your
weblog. Is this a paid theme or did you customize
iit yourself? Either way keep up the nikce qualiyy writing,
iit is rare to see a great blog like this one these days.
Keep on writing, great job!
A motivating discussion is worth comment. I believe that
you need to write more on this topic, it might not be a taboo subject but usually folks don't talk about these subjects.
To the next! All the best!!
It is never a bad idea for any young woman to go to college. In fact, it is a great idea to go to college or trade school whatever your gender! When you leave home you get the opportunity to expand your horizons and you get the opportunity to know people with different life experiences, views, and opinions. God is a God of the world, not just the God of evangelical fundamentalist Christians. I don't believe God wants us to limit our experiences to just people exactly like ourselves. No person, (especially women) should leave themselves totally dependent on any man. I'm glad that worked out for you, but sadly it doesn't work out for everyone. Women should always be able to provide a good life for themselves without the help of any man. Peace. #equality
Hi Yvonne! I couldn’t help but respond to your comment - especially since I do, in part, agree with you! My whole purpose of this post was to remind us all that God made all of us completely individual, for individual (specific) purposes. Because of that, the pro-college side nor the “no”-college side should have the authority to make the blanket statements about college that are so often made: “EVERYONE MUST GO”, or “NO REAL CHRISTIAN SHOULD EVER CONSIDER IT.” I have no doubt that going to college is “God inspired” for some people’s lives, and that NOT going to college is also “God inspired”, in the same rite. If a woman makes the choice to go to college, I support her decision - if she knows God is calling her to go. I felt the call to stay; but I don’t condemn another Sister In Christ if she is directed to get a degree.
The other thing that I think we view a little differently is the idea that only in college can one experience life in it’s fullness and be adequately prepared for our vocations. I truly feel that God prepares His children for what He asks of them, and gives them the experiences that they need to be the best they can be for His glory. I have friends who have traveled all over the world and come back with many incredible stories at very young ages — but never went to college.
As far as sticking closely within our own Christian circles, I do believe that we are a product of our environments, and that keeping in Christian company does make our walks with the Lord a little easier - BUT, I also believe that we’re called to be “The light of the world” and “preach the gospel to every creature.” We can’t do that if we’re never kind to someone who believes differently than ourselves. So no. I don’t limit myself in that area.
Your third point is one that I’ve heard debated quite often but I’ve never really had the opportunity to respond to. Looking at it naturally, it makes sense that “no woman should ever leave themselves totally dependent on any man.” Looking at it spiritually, I have to disagree. The same Bible that holds the key to our salvation also says that the woman should be in submission to the man, and that He is to provide for His family’s needs. I don’t believe God wrote that in His Bible because He didn’t mean it, neither because He just wanted to limit and waste our talents. This is what He designed us for! If we can’t believe the parts of His Bible that tells us to be submissive and “guide the house”, then how can we trust it for salvation? For healing? For His promise of the hereafter?
I don’t believe, however that it’s wrong for us to help out with the Bills if they’re too great for our husbands’ paycheck. The Proverbs 31 woman ran many businesses herself! But I do believe that being dependent on a man (though it grates against all that seems right in today’s views) is eternally what God intended. He wants us to relax comfortably into our roles, realize that they are ultra important (as is paying the bills) and trust that He knows what is best for us.
In summary: my whole post was for the sole purpose of reminding both groups (pro-college and not) that God is still God. His ways are still perfect, even if they don’t seem to make sense at the time, and because of that, we should ask Him what He has for us, (college or none) and be happy to take our place in His Grand Scheme, instead of plunging madly for college with no direction (which often happens) or putting our noses in the air and refusing to even consider the idea of higher learning. (Women included, as well as men.)
I hope you won’t find this offensive, but I felt like you may have slightly misjudged me and the meaning of my post. I’m open to any further conversation that you would like to have.
God bless you!
Thank you for sharing your heart with me today. I am on the other side of this fence, I am a Mom with a daughter getting ready to graduate high school. To be honest, I have really made college something that she never really got to 'choose'. I'm glad that you shared your heart today, I believe that God led me to your blog, to help me and her make the right decision. Thank you for your obedience in writing and sharing this post!
Post a Comment