Friday, August 23, 2013

Someday I'm going to grow up...

I sagged into my mothers embrace after stumbling up half the stairs, exhausted. "Here I go...into the lion's den," I mumbled, sadly.

She either didn't hear. or ignored me. I still felt bad for saying it.

The lions den - a relatively cozy place with comforting sheets, an airy bed-spread, comfy nightgowns and darkness a...nice...peaceful place to fall asleep.


In the darkness every night, three of the big cats slink in.

One shakes its mane and yawns in my ear, "I can't sleeeeep...I'm not tired."

The other bounces up and down on the foot of my bed and grins like a big kitty about to eat an antelope. "I heard this great joke this afternoon..."

The third is small and often curls up under the cotton sheets beside me. "But Anna," she coaxes, with an irresistible shine in her eye, "you haven't told me a story in forever."

"Not tonight, okay?"

"Well, could you at least rub my back?"

I sigh, and try to stuff my selfishness back into wherever it came from. "Yes...I'll tell you a story...I suppose.

Once upon a time there was a frog who lived in the mud at the bottom of a pond. His name was Albert and he loved to eat flies, but one day...."

And an hour later, the cute felines head off to their own separate quarters.

"Why, that's terrible," you're thinking, "likening your siblings to troublesome lions."

Yup. I would have to agree with you. Therefore, I write the following;

It's sad, but I've noticed that most big sisters and brothers come to frown upon such precious disturbances{as described above} at some point in time -  no matter how much they love or appreciate their miniatures.

We try to avoid the troublesome questions; "Will you pleeeeeese read me a story?"in the afternoon, "Could ya rub my arm?" in the morning and "Sing to me?" at night.

We have the best of intentions, really, but it's just that we get annoyed. And selfish.

But something occurred to me a while back.

I'm 17 this year and a senior in high school. Next year I'll be 18 and a graduate. (Are you following, so far? Good.)

As a little girl, I imagined that 18 or 19 was as old as you could possibly get. After that, there was nothing but a vast expanse of unknown. You simply had to disappear into the vast cavern of adulthood, never to be thought of again...someplace faraway, with a possible husband and children...maybe...because you never knew what was past 18.

While I have matured (at least slightly ), in my imaginings, and do realize that life does go on past the teen years... that whole "going away" thing still lingers in my mind. I have no clue where I'm going to be in two years; here at home, Alaska, Texas, China, a tropical island somewhere...I'm still praying about what the Lord's will is for my life, but I know one thing; my family members are my five best friends, and I want it to stay that way.

We've grown to be very close (duh.) but when we all get older and move away - (off to college, or cooking school, or just the other side of town) I don't want the miles to separate our spirits, our love. I don't want contention and un-dealt-with problems to build walls between us. I want to make sure they know I love them, will be there for them, pray for them, do anything for them - even if that means singing to a little girl in the dark of  two-in-the-morning because she had a bad dream and didn't want to be alone.

Stop saying "No" so often and ask yourself "Will it really kill me to tell her a five-minute story before bed?" Think of a time - once a week, once a month, something - to genuinely let one your family members know how much you care. Take time to bond - let her sit on your lap, go ahead and play tag with him. Have fun together; build confidence.

"My family's strong. They know I love them...we all make mistakes sometimes, but that's okay..."

Yes, that is okay. But I've seen too many good families tear apart and quarrel like five-year-olds amongst themselves. It's pathetic, it's wounding, and it's horribly, horribly sad.

I don't want that - nobody does - and I think it's time to take advantage of the moments God has given us. Time to build up and bless the ones we're closest to (or, even,  that we are not closest to.)

Pray for unity, pray for wisdom, pray for self-control, pray over the differences that "drive you crazy" and let God do the work. We don't have to do it by ourselves.

And that crazy "bigger sister" would happen to me - and if you catch me before I have my hair fixed in the morning, you'll REALLY be terrified ;)


Mom said...

This is what makes you so special, Anna! I love how giving you are of yourself and of your time. Selfishness is at the heart of almost every evil. God calls us to lay down our life, to die to self and let other's see His life through our words and actions. Your brother and sisters have seen "Jesus with skin on". Thank you for all you do for our family.

Anna said...

Thanks, Mom! Didn't see this comment until just now.

This means a lot and is SO encouraging right now. :)