Wednesday, October 13, 2010

What Sunshine?

Sometimes I really feel hypocritical after encouraging a person to "look at the bright side" when going through a difficult time.

I've tried to put this "self encouragement" to work in my own life, but it never has the desired effect on me.

Usually, I kinda scrunch up my eyes and think "Anna!" *pasting on a smile* "you should be thankful that you've got this wonderful closet to cry in, and these people who God is using to shape and mold you into what you should be. Yes, you're frustrated with school, yes, Pre-Algebra is taking forever, but at least you've got school books to learn from! You could be some poor, homeless child who has no parents to teach her." Let me tell you, it doesn't work. Usually, a fresh burst of tears follows my ridiculous attempt to make myself cheer up - I find this method impossible.

Another method I have earnestly tried to make use of, is that of looking at other people who have things much worse than I do. I think of people who are imprisoned, separated from their families, orphans, and the like. Usually, this just causes the selfish Anna Pyatskowit to realize that she shouldn't be upset at all, and it is incredibly stupid for her to be so sad when she is still so well-off.

In my life I've found two different reasons for the seemingly hopeless states I fall into so regularly. The regular ones, are usually due to hormones - which all of us should learn to control, but sometimes get the better of us, making us feel unloved, ugly, ridiculous, and the like. The other kind, is the long, dark, cloudy times when a "good cry" happens at least once every week or so, school seems like hopeless, unnecessary, cruelty; siblings - though trying to show how much they love us- are not applauded for head-long jumps into our arms.

Though these times are often so hard, and often seem to force a cloud of depression over our heads, they really are blessings. By no means am I saying that we are to go through these things smiling and acting like nothing is wrong, we are going to act like something is wrong. A blessing is not always an easy gift that we accept at intervals throughout our lives, sometimes blessings hidden inside of a dark gloomy clouds called "trials." These trials are exactly what they are said to be, some harder and longer than others, but they are all difficult to some extreme.

Yes, I say that trials are a blessing. I've found that they really are. There is a "bright side" to almost everything, but seldom does "the bright side" cheer us up, as I've found out for myself. In the Bible, it says that we are to count our fiery trials of more worth than gold. Why? Because any son that God loves, God chastens, and is perfecting. Those people who have said unkind things about you, that schoolwork that is so hard right now - they're tools in the Master's hands. The hard things that bring us down, we can take joy in, knowing that they are for our good, and that Jesus is using them to shape, mold and make us.

I don't know if anyone needs to hear this, but I hope it's encouraging to someone. I've been going through a pretty dark time for a while here, and found this to be a major encouragement to me. - As well as my Mom and Dad, who are doing their best to help get me through my trials. God has been merciful in giving me parents!

God is always faithful, and I know He'll never give me more than I can bear, but that doesn't mean everything will be easy.


Bethany said...

Yes, I've had those days - I remember the F on the math test - except that wasn't pre-algebra. That was before that. I nearly cried over algebra 1. Torture.

*hugs* *hugs* *hugs*

Anonymous said...

You are so right. True character is a victory and is only produced through the hard trials we endure. Not only must we endure them but we must also learn the lessons they are meant to teach us.

God really does know what is best for us and He knows just how much pressure must be applied to each vessel so that His image can be reflected for all to see.

God has promised to never put more on us than we can bear. Daddy and I love and appreciate you dearly. You are a wonderful example of Christ.

Bailey said...

You dear girl! Why didn't you tell me? You seemed particularly bright and cheery last time I saw you. *HUGHUGHUG* and another *HUG*, just in case.

Focusing on what I have that others don't rarely works for me. I dive into the "I'm a princess -- God loves me no matter what -- my sins are absolutely forgiven and will never be held against me -- and my Father is King of the universe" train of thought. With those kind of circumstances, how can I complain?

The sun will come out tomorrow...and I mean both emotionally and circumstantially. Some days, some weeks, some months just seem miserable. And then God brings unclouded blessing. Every time I won a contest, I was going through a trial. :P God is good in those little blessings as well as bringing us through trials.

There are so many things the Lord does and can do...and no time to pout at all!

Love you!

Maria said...

Oh Anna! I think of you as a very cheerful person. I'm dying over Algebra 1. I'm sure i'm failing!

Anonymous said...

character is simply never made without suffering. Character is not a gift, it is a victory! Remember the picture of the dark storm clouds, and the closer to the picture you got all you could really see was angels wings, beating together. Our trials are blesssings in disguise. Not fun to go through, but will give us the character of Jesus Christ. So...chin up dear Anna. HE KNOWS ALL ABOUT IT. LOVE MAMAW