OH BE CAREFUL LITTLE EYES | WHAT THEY SEE

It's seldom that we order pizza. Usually it means I've had a significantly awful day and just want to sit on the couch and bawl to Ethan until I feel better. Those days don't happen very often, so pizza doesn't either; but when it does, I want chips and Pepsi to go with it. Always.

Ethan raised his eyebrow from across the table. "You're eating chips?" Normally, I'm a salad eater in the face of more interesting food choices. Carrots over Cheetos. Hot tea over Cake.

"Yeah. You can't have pizza without chips."

Looking back, it's obvious to me where this tradition came from. Mom always needed Pepsi with her pizza. Dad always needed chips. So now, I need both.

Hand reaching further into the crinkly bag of Aldi's pseudo-cheetos, I admitted to myself that it was a simple a matter of childhood influence. Habit, maybe?

And while I chewed on my <favorite> Dominoes Spinach and Feta pizza, not caring about the calories at all, I wondered what little things my kids were picking up from me?

And more than that: What habits did I not want them picking up from me?

It got me thinking.

My oldest is only two... but I dare to think that two is one of the most impressionable ages. It's the time that their upbringing starts to burn itself into their very DNA, almost.

One of my earliest memories involved making my mom a special surprise breakfast...with quite a collection of ingredients. Yogurt, mixed with a raw egg or two, coconut flakes, walnuts, sprinkles, vanilla, and chocolate chips - because they were very, very grown up. Mom ate them for fun sometimes. We couldn't have them without permission, but Mom could get them whenever she wanted.

Today, I realized with surprise, that I keep a little bag of chocolate chips in the side door of the freezer - exactly where she used to keep them.

I remember a lot of other things from my childhood, too; like how she read silently sometimes. I only knew how to read out loud, and for the life of me, I couldn't figure out how she did it; but I wanted to learn. OH but I wanted to learn. 

I noticed how, on bad days, when Dad was at work and everything was a mess, and we hadn't started school yet, she sat down on the steps, with the baby on her lap and prayed out loud until tears came dripping down her face.

It seemed like she prayed forever. When she finished, I could always hear the relief in her voice with the final "Amen." She would stand up, wipe the tears away and direct everyone to their next task with the strength she hadn't had fifteen minutes ago.

There were so many things that emblazoned themselves into the "me" that I am now, without either of us ever realizing it.

But now, to the present. What am I showing my girls in the natural and spiritual?

I want them to see a lifestyle that will keep them victorious in whatever circumstance they find themselves.

I want them to notice that Mom only has unhealthy food for special occasions and "going out." (With friends, on Sundays, for birthdays)

I want them to know how to pray; to know that it's more than words...an actual presence that changes everything.

I want them to see what a happy marriage looks like.

I want them to grow up to know how to save money.

I want them to know how to be generous.

I want them to see that Mommy and Daddy find comfort in opening the Bible and listening to a sermon every day.

So much. So many things.

They say that being a Christian means living for others. They say that being a mother means living for others. It's true. Our simple choices don't only affect us, but also those innocent, onlooking eyes that are quietly searching out everything we do.

What life do you want to give them?

We can't just automatically fill them with the Holy Spirit and make them perfect: but we have so much sway over the habits and ideas that they will have all of their lives. This is so huge. It's worth thinking about.

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OH BE CAREFUL LITTLE EYES | WHAT THEY SEE