Tuesday, August 7, 2018


I was kind of annoyed, quite frankly. Ethan is a neat freak and and a lover of all things organized and optimally functional. Why did he have all these shreds of brown paper in the pocket of his lunch box? 

I shoo-ed Haven away from the clutter that she had just unearthed and started cleaning it all up, fairly bristling with the aggravation of another mess to handle. Number 1, 579 for that day, it would seem. 

And then, right before I dropped a whole handful of them into the garbage can, I saw what they were, and I stopped. 

For a while I had been putting Ethan's breakfasts into little brown lunch bags that I had found at the grocery store. Every morning I would scribble a little note on the bag for him to read while he was out. I always figured he threw them away - what else would he do with them? They were nothing to me, just a chance to make him smile when I wasn't there. 

 He's always so naturally tenacious and unstoppable. I could count on one hand the times when I'd seen him really "down." He's never stayed home "sick." There's no such thing as despair, or "I can't" with this guy... but still, something so small as a note in his lunch really meant something to him. 

My heart warmed as I realized that he had saved them all; every last one of those little nothings that, in my own mind, didn't really matter. 

When he came home and sat down to supper at our tiny kitchen table, I mentioned them to him. He looked surprised. "You didn't throw them away did you?!" I promised that I hadn't, after which he sheepishly admitted that he took them out and read them over to himself when work was difficult. 

We always talk about everything over that kitchen table. All of the days' frustrations and laughs are aired out, but in the moment, when the trouble times are happening or things are going wrong and I'm not there, I'm so grateful to know that he has something from me to remind him how much of a winner he is. 

It's really obvious, I guess, but that afternoon made me really see how much the little things matter in a marriage. A smooch at the door, a note in his lunch, the times I leave my phone at home on purpose to spend more time with him... that guy who is so capable and so muscled and so incredible in his own rite...needs those little loving things. Sappy loving things, even. Silly ones.

If you drop notes in your man's lunchbox: Guess what. It matters. If you lay out his towel and washcloth before his shower, it matters. When you prop your eyelids open at the end of the day to give him a back massage, it matters.

A woman has the chance to make her marriage magic if she wants to. I hear of some couples who really just "aren't affectionate" and wives who think their husbands really don't have that "romantic thing" figured out: but if you want to be loved, try being lovable. You might be surprised. 


Justin and Kaitlyn said...

It's so very true, we're their biggest cheerleader and the smallest things we do always mean more to them than we realize!! Sounds like we've both been blessed with amazing husbands!


Anonymous said...

Awww that is the sweetest thing ever, you guys are so sweet<3


Anonymous said...

Ok. You made me cry. So sweet and precious.

Elisabeth said...

So good, Anna. What a blessing for others that you are able to articulate these things. We all can be encouraged - including me. :)

Bethany D said...

So this was the cutest thing I’ve seen all day. Y’all are GOALS!

Anonymous said...

Excellent post. I'm dealing with many of these issues
as well..

Anonymous said...

So very true. Thank you for sharing.