And I smile.
When I look at her, I’m living my dream.
Every time I remember that, it shocks me. Everything I always wanted is right here in this little white house with all its’ to-do’s and been-done’s. The tiny quiet baby who is growing inside me, the chattering, hair-bow-wearing tornado who tears into everything when I’m not looking; the tickles and hugs when Daddy’s home…This is what I prayed for. This blessed chaos that ruins schedules and makes big messes; it’s what my existence always craved. Beautiful, crazy, living.
Breathing in, letting go — I let the reality of this peace wash over; clear out. Daily, hourly, constantly, I’m fulfilling God’s plan for me; I’m a wife and mother.
Yup. I also have to throw crazy-mean diapers in the garbage can (sealed up in a ziplock for preservation of sensory soundness). 24/7 MOM SQUAD isn’t the most glamorous job when the baby is screeching and the floors need mopped. But who said it was supposed to be?
Servanthood isn't the number one career choice these days. "Selfless" isn't the buzzword on twitter. There's not much back patting for the ones who quietly, knowingly keep the wheels turning in a household; lunches packed, laundry done, good night kisses pressed to tiny foreheads.
That's right; to God.
Every time my Bible falls open to either of these passages, I remember what an important job He has given me; what a blessing it is.
"And whosoever shall give to drink unto one of these little ones a cup of cold water only in the name of a disciple, verily I say unto you, he shall in no wise lose his reward."
"Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world: For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in: Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me. Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink? When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee? Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee?And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me."
Nobody will be interviewing any of us moms on ESPN for cleaning the bathroom today. You can bet the family farm that there won’t be a round of applause after we finish balancing the checkbook - but I promise; “Little is much when God is in it.” Doing what He has asked will never be more than you can handle, or less than important in His eyes. He came to be a servant.
So what's my point? Embrace this. Slow down and focus. Replay the scenes that melt your heart. Remember the gentle hug from your husband and his secret in your ear. See the freshness of a new morning. Hear the giggles, see the smiles. Think on the "excellent" and "praiseworthy."
Most women can only complain. The negative is always there, broadcasting from worn-out, thankless creatures; but who says we can't focus on the happiness of this living; this calling to minister to "The least of these?"
Just a thought. But after all, you do have eternity to reap the benefits.
2 comments:
Aw, Anna, you are such an inspiring, amazingly talented writer and I know you are creating a home where love abounds even in its imperfectness. Choosing to be happy even when things slide in into chaos as can be the case so often when you have littles. But it's a beautiful type of chaos, isn't it? We wouldn't want it any other way.
"Sealed up in a ziplock for preservation of sensory soundness."
Lol, I FEEL THIS SO REAL right now! :)
Thank you for this post! I tend to get so flustered with motherhood and my babe sometimes, and it even gets downright depressing and mundane some weeks. You reminded me that this too, is what my heart yearned for (even though my poor naive little self didn't really know what she was getting into!!)
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