It felt like a horrible confession. I finished wiping the dried spit up off of the piano room floor while guilt sunk in hard.
I've cleaned whole houses for extra money before. And now I do spot mopping in my own.
Turning to pick up my six month old, who was just D O N E with cleaning day, my brain puzzled itself over other houses. Houses with four and five children inside them. Spotless, and mopped every night after supper.
And I held my squirming little girl to my heart and laid down my dusting spray.
What in the world was I doing wrong?
Instead of keeping my house in line, it seemed to be chasing me. Picked up? Yes. But the baseboards. And the cupboards. And the spiders that keep weaving webs. And the dust bunnies that show up under beds. AND THE GUEST BEDROOM THATS WAYS FULL OF 10 HUNDRED UNORGANIZED PROJECTS.
"How is it done with four and five, when I can't do it with one....?"
And then I had one of those SuperWomen over for coffee, and I asked her. "Your house always looks spic and span. How were you able to clean with your first one?"
Her answer shocked me.
"Pick up," she corrected, with a dry chuckle. "As long as you keep your bathrooms and kitchen clean... really, you've got it covered. Dust when you can."
All of a sudden I felt like I might be doing an okay job again.
"But..." I was almost too happy to believe it, "You're the woman who mops every night..."
She corrected me again. "Heh. I try. It doesn't always happen."
And I was just like..."Wow. Please have another helping of dessert. In fact, here's two. And would you like me to pay you for this freedom that has suddenly broken through the clouds and is blessing my life with warmth and sunshine and rainbows and sparkles and sprinkles and every other imaginable happy thing in the universe?!"
Not really. But I was tickled pink.
Again: Reality trumps unrealistic ideals.
The world is full of them. Mine is. Yours is. Perfect Mommas who are always on time, and always know what to do, and never have anybody tell them they're not doing it right - are unrealistic. Get real. Forget the weekly cleaning schedule and perfect homeschool scholars as well.
What matters is that you try your hardest, and you love your babies. When your head hits the pillow at night, then again at 1:00 in the morning, and again at 3:00 in the morning - whatever your case may be - you can breathe your heart up to God and say, "Lord, you know I did my best." And be okay with that.
As long as your husband and kiddies are satisfied and feel secure in your love, your mission is accomplished. So go on - you're free to be Mommy. They're more important.
2 comments:
So very true! "Do your best and forget the rest ". And bless that sweet Mama's heart for breathing hope and sunshine into your day.
Love
Mom
Indeed. That saying is true for a lot of situations.
Love you, Mom!
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