Saturday, September 5, 2015

Strength To Change

"How are you gonna move away from everything you've ever known?!"

Usually, it was the second or third question from anyone who found out I was going with someone from North Carolina.

My answer never came from my own ideas; it came straight from the Lord's assurance in my heart. Most people couldn't understand.

I knew that missing my family was inevitable. My sister was my best friend, Mom - my closest confidante, Dad - the calm presence that made sense of the world when it was upside-down. My brother - the cheesy grin and head-long hug that gave sympathy on bad days. Becca -  the snuggle at nighttime and the contagious laugh that brought a smile. It's hard to describe how close we were; still are. 

So how did I leave? How am I happy in being away from everything I've ever known?

Simple. I'm not away from everything I've ever known.

Before I had a Mother to hold me, God called me by name. Before Dad could take me hunting for the first time, The Heavenly Father kept my life in His hand. Before I had siblings to laugh with, He was my friend that stuck closer than a brother. I was His. He sustained me; raised me through my parents' hands, molded me through the little-girl heartaches, encouraged me through His Word and His people, and loved me more than I ever deserved; but it was always, undeniably Him.

That doesn't change. The place changed, but His grace and his plan remain immovable. Now, my daily calling involves menus, early mornings, blue eyes, (yeah, I know I mention them a lot, but Indians have this "thing" for blue eyes..;) strong, gentle hugs, and the overwhelming awe of getting to be married to this guy. (For real?!)

Before I got married, people would tell me what an amazing wife I was going to be. I said "thank you," but inside, I was scoffing. As far as confidence levels go, I never had much. "You're so organized" - I just tried not to laugh. "You're going to be amazing at running a household" - "uhm....well, I hope so." "Anna, you can do everything! You're going to be so good at this" - "Ooookay??"

It's true: I was prepared as anyone could possibly be (shout out to my mom, who made sure of that!), but I still wondered if I would be enough. Ethan assured me I would be, my family assured me I would be, everyone else assured me I would be, but I was still afraid that I wouldn't be efficient enough. Maybe someday (worst of all worsts) I would be annoying. What if I wasn't a good wife?!

And my answer came in a simple verse. As usual.

"Do not worry about tomorrow..."

And the swirling smoke of my singed and burning confidence was completely cleared by the cold, sure bucket of truth that put out the flames.

I don't trust in myself. I've done all I know to do in preparation. The rest is up to the Lord. Here's the key that I found in Joshua 1:

"8 This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success.
Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest."

That's how I moved. That's how I'm happy. That's why this wonderful, Southern life is so extremely beautiful. God called me here... with this amazing man, to be a wife. I can't tell you how lucky it makes me feel to wake up bedside him every morning.

"Give thanks unto the Lord, for His mercy endureth forever."


Anonymous said...

So beautiful, Anna! Love you and am so happy that God is helping you to "Bloom where you're planted".

Sarah said...

That's beautiful, Anna! And yes, yes, and more yes! You can do it because that is where He has called you. I can so relate, your Mom can so relate, anyone who has moved far away from all those they know and love and have the Lord as their guide can relate.

It's not always easy, there are moments of tears, there are moments where we miss where we were before very much, like the first days we would have celebrated with family(birthdays, Mother's Day, etc.) That is natural, but yet there is a NEW calling, and it is good, beautiful, and wonderful; and there is PEACE and JOY knowing it is where He in His almighty love for us and all-goodness has called us, and that can not be measured in earthly terms.

God bless you both as you experience the joys and blessings of newly married life and joyfully set out to what He has called you to TOGETHER. I love hearing about you guys and your relationship, God has sent you an awesome guy, from all you say, and you both are such a testament to Him(and the awesome way your parents raised you!). :-) Hugs from Wisconsin!