Tuesday, December 10, 2013

How I Feel About Wisconsin Driving

My feet crunched on the snow as I ((bravely)) tramped from  house to garage. My fingers felt  frozen - pretty soon, they began to ache. I opened the garage door.

Worse than everything already mentioned, was the gray, freezing interior of the van. I waited, grimly, for it to warm up.

"Oh, boy."

Slowly, I backed out of the garage and, slowly, crawled up the driveway to wait for traffic to clear. It did, inevitably, and, nervously, I accelerated - "Slowly," just like everyone kept telling me, "Because of the snow." And in spite of my best efforts, the tires still made an awful grinding noise while I slid into my proper lane - which rattled me, considerably. "How much worse can it get? I was only getting out of the driveway!?"

All in all, (due to the sincere prayer I offered before pulling out onto the highway,) I avoided major catastrophe while running to the store (for cream and milk), the post office (to send a package for our Papaw's birthday) and the library (to drop off books).

Nonetheless, I was still perfectly terrified every time I had to slow down, (due to one of those helpless "sliding-through-the-intersection-and-the-brakes-won't-work" catastrophes a couple weeks ago.)

I was also a bit confused about the four snow-plow-type vehicles that were clogging the intersection and had my lane blocked off with snow.

I was looking for a picture that would clearly depict my feelings...and couldn't find one. This is pretty close though: Although, this pic was taken in the dear, old, sweet, warm summertime. *Wistful sigh* (Yes, basketball terrifies me almost as much as driving does. I'm ridiculously bad at it.)


Those who haven't experienced Wisconsin driving for themselves ought to feel rather blessed - but in case you ever come for a visit, here's a coupla rules:

1. Always start to slow down fifty million years in advance of the intersection - otherwise, as you furiously pump the brakes, the vehicle will only make a rumble-y vibrate-y noise and keep going...right out into traffic.

2. Never, ever, leave the driveway before praying. I'm pretty sure we've come close to a *cough* few accidents - and those prayers were all  that kept us from a lovely new dent in the van and a few stitches in our heads.

3. Run out and start the van, oooooh, about five minutes before you actually have to leave...it helps, tremendously.

4. Always stuff some gloves in your purse before leaving the house - if you hafta drive, the steering wheel can be downright painful to hang on to. (Because it's so cold.)

There. Have a lovely afternoon...and I hope you don't have to go anywhere.

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