Saturday, November 3, 2012

When It Comes To Boys... (A Tip From Yours Truly)

Just thinking about this post, I'm laughing. I know it's going to catch a lot of attention.

I just want to share a little advice that I've received and found to be very true of late...I hope it will help you like it helped me.

My Mom is one of my very best friends. I think I talk about more things with her than I do with anyone else! She shows me things she's learned from the "School of Hard Knocks", I ask her questions constantly and we laugh and have just as much fun as best friends do together.

One day, while we were on our daily walk (where many of my questions and mom's teaching opportunities surface themselves) the topic of boys/boy craziness came up.

We all know it's fun. The "Who's with who" talks over the phone, the "He's so cute" and "Brenda likes so-and-so" at sleep-overs and girly get-togethers...the speculation, the matchmaking, the excitement...

But when it comes to being "dead-gone" on a boy yourself, I find my first objection.

Here's the typical scenario:

He's tall and handsome. His character is sparkling and he's even held a conversation or two with you. You think about him...and think about him...and think about him...and  finally decide that he's the guy for you. He meets every qualification; the perfect dad, the perfect husband, perfectly handsome, the perfect spiritual leader...

But this "hunk of a guy" has no clue that you like him. (Unless you happen to be a bit of a flirt.)

PROBLEM 1. It's the boy that has to take initiative and seek you out. No amount of your faithful heart bleeding for him will bring Mr. perfect to the door.

What happens? He finds someone that catches his eye, asks her out...and that is that. {He had no idea, remember?}

PROBLEM 2. Your heart is shattered. You had your emotions set for him...he was what you dreamed about at night, what you thought about during the day. You talked about him with your girlfriends...and now you are very, very hurt. (And, let me say, no matter how coquettish or silly you were, your emotions aren't the least bit funny at this point in time.)

PROBLEM 3.What's more, you've spread it around in dreamy conversation that you're head-over-heels for this guy. You're very embarrassed.

These are just a couple of the possible problems. I've not mentioned them all, but you get the idea.

As I talked with Mom and aired my thoughts, this is the answer that she gave.

Don't become emotionally attached to guys. Look at  character, look at good and bad qualities, then take note. But go no further. If you let your emotions carry you away, you can wind up getting hurt.
If, on the other hand,  someone should come and ask you out, or begin a relationship, it's a different story.

Sounds like "no fun", does it? I knew it was good advice and I took it...but at times it did seem a little "un-fun." But I watched as friends and acquaintances had their hearts sorely bruised and shredded. I could see how terrible it would feel and how nobody would really understand. But then, the time came for proof.

Since somewhere around two years ago, a coupla relatives started teasing me about a boy, off-and-on. They admitted, upon my questioning, that there was no legitimate reason. They had just decided to. I took note of the fellow, and started guarding my heart.

A litte while ago, I was reading an email...and there it was. "About, so-and-so. I'm really sorry. I feel it's my duty to tell you that he's going with so-and-so. It's official. I'm sure he's sought God about it...don't be heartbroken. God has it all under control."

At that moment, such a free, excited feeling washed over me. It had worked! I was not the least bit crushed or hurt, no, I was excited for the young lady. My emotions weren't attached in the first place, so they weren't even ruffled - much less trampled in the dirt.

But, guarding your heart. How do you do it? I know it's hard; if you happen to be a girl, you are naturally inclined to do exactly the opposite. You need God. That's the simple answer. Whenever your speculation becomes more than "taking note" pray about it. Be sincere - He'll help you, like He's helped me.

This is my simple tip. Now, girls: What are your thoughts?


Anonymous said...

It's so hard not to become emotionally involved, but when God sends "Mr. Perfect Will" into your life, you will be so thankful that you guarded your heart and your emotions.

I appreciate the fact that you are willing to write about these issues. Keep up the good work!

Anna said...

Thank you, Anonymous! Your encouragement is appreciated. :)

Anonymous said...

I agree 100%!!!! Thank you for sharing. It's just not often that you find a young, sweet, teenager like you that would say wise stuff like this! Keep it up!! =P

Anonymous said...

I agree 100%!!! Thank you for sharing!! It's just not often that you find a young, sweet, teenager that says (and does) wise stuff like this. Keep it up!! =P
God bless.

Katherine said...

haha I loved this post!

I'm hosting a gift exchange if you would like to join!

Gracie said...

What you said, Anna, is very true. And it sounds like your mother is a very wise woman :) I wish all girls could hear such would save so much heartbreak. I myself needed to be reminded of this. Thank you so much :)