Sunday, May 8, 2011

Anna's Nutty News: The Opposite: Gluttony

Dear Friends, this was a school project gone wild. (Forgive my...ununiform manner of writing.) I was asked to write from a viewpoint opposing my most of this is exactly the opposite of what I think.

We’ll all agree that food is a wonderful thing. It keeps our bodies healthy (depending on what types of food we consume) and makes us happy and comfortable, and, best of all, it is necessary for one of the most amazing, wonderful things that ever was. Gluttony.
Yes my friends, we have all experienced it at some point in time. Those sad, sad days when one sandwich just cannot fill that deep, dark hole in our stomachs - we must have a chocolate candy bar, or an extra soda, or maybe just a couple more sandwiches and carrots, but any way, it gives us that wonderful feeling of bloatedness – that feeling that surpasses all others.
You walk around feeling extended – oh, it’s the bigger, better, more beautiful you, that’s to be sure. You have that overwhelming feeling of piggish beauty as you look in the mirror or step onto the scale, delighted at your new heft. You’ve become that roley-poley, the one you’ve always dreamed of looking like. Your life is fulfilled – and you are happy to know that all because of your gluttony, your fulfilled life might be ended sooner than you originally imagined.
It goes on and on – one more piece of pie, just a little bit more coleslaw, pile up those french fries! Bring it on! Bring it on!
The thing that America truly needs, is gluttony. If only people would open their eyes and see what they truly need. We don’t need to cut our budget! – We simply need to eat more, so we will be a happy nation. (Poor albeit.)
Governors, Presidents, Senators, Citizens, we just need less work and more food – a happier, no-stress, no worries, no love but for ourselves and our food nation…is what we really need. What we must have.

We simply Cannot resist.  


Bailey said...

ROTFLOL! I burst out laughing at the paragraph about the bigger, better you. :D Reminds me so much of the twisted logic of Animal Farm...maybe it was the piggish beauty that triggered it.

Anna said...

Perhaps so. :)